The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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