I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
