You can't motorboat a personality
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
