My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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