Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
