Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
