I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
