he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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