Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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