you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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