Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
