you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
