she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize