go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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