Banned from zoo.
Again?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
