somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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