i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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