even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
