He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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