just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
