Well apparently he's into motor boating.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
