I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
