I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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