first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Pants are for mortals
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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