i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
