You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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