I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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