Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
being pregnant is like rehab
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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