youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
