no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
sex in a hospital.. check
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
