If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
