Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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