it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Randomize
