i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
