My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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