We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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