Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
