And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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