its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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