Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
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That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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