Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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