Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
