dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
