btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize