Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
