We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
