ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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