Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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