You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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