what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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