He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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