he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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