please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
