I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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