Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
