no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
