worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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