Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
